you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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