I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
