Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
