he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
