You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
