im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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