I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
