wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
