her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
