i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
