She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
