I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
