Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
