pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
