I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
