i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
