I wish I could punch you in the face.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm too high and old for this...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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