he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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