im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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