I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
