What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
