i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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