I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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