You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
