Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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