He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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