A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
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just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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