Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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