he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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