So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
