Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
