Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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