we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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