But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is Oprah even human
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
