So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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