Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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