she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize