she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
