also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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