Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
