is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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