U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize