Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize