Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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