ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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