i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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