just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
