I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
