it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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