that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
