I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
