Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
