STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
