Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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