So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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