I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
