I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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