next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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