I hate all girls vehemently.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
