Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
